Lumpy helps deal with fire directions

I was directing traffic on the highway the other day, where a forest fire was threatening the roadway and several surrounding housing developments. A few fellow law dogs and myself had been stranded on the pavement there for the last few hours, coughing in the smoke, answering good questions and dumb questions, giving directions, yelling into the radio, looking for lost homeowners, coordinating the rescue of dogs, cats and grandmothers and sweating a lot. 

Like moths to the flame or liberals to other people’s money, lots of folks are drawn to a fire. Homeowners, neighbors, relatives, friends, acquaintances, media personalities, slack-jawed gawkers, brittle do-gooders and nose-picking, unaware tourists are all people you can expect to wash up against your traffic control point. Every single one of these classes of folks has a really, really, really good reason they need to get through your roadblock, right now! You can sympathize with the homeowners and relatives; they’re in a terribly uncertain situation with loved ones or a house on the fire line. You do whatever it takes to help them. As for the rest of the people who show up, they mostly don’t get what they want, which is to get past the roadblock, gawk at the fire, overdose on pine smoke, get in the firefighters’ way and generally be a pain in the rear.