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So much about which not to write

Parker Knox
Published: Thursday, August 1st, 2013

The e-mail arrives from the Chronicle's general manager. I know what he wants. It's time for my column again even though it seems I just wrote one last week.
So the next problem becomes the column topic.  I don't care to become a target—even at long distance—of the letter-to-the-editor writers who populate this page every week, so I must tread carefully when it comes to column topics.
I won't, but I could write about Packer quarterback Aaron Rodgers, who a year ago stood by his drugged buddy, Ryan Braun of the Brewers, saying he was so sure of Braun's innocence that he (Rodgers) would give up a year's salary if proved wrong. I haven't yet heard to where the Cheeseheads' Golden Boy is sending his millions.
I won't, but I could write about neighborhood watch groups who patrol in the dark of night looking for trouble. But I must remember, the next time I'm in Florida, to not walk around on a dark, stormy night wearing a hoodie unless I too am packing some heat.
I won't, but I could write about Big Brother government invading our lives.  But I hope that, when the next out-of-control fire comes over the ridge, the Forest Service will be there, the federal planes will fly over dropping flame retardants, the National Guard will be brought in to help save lives and property and, after it's all over, there will be federal aid to help with the recovery. And I hope that security cameras caught the license plate number of the car driven by the bums who started the fire and they were thus identified through the government's license plate ID system, even though such intrusion likely invaded their constitutional rights.
I won't, but I could write about the prospects of a juicy political season in South Dakota in 2014. Just when the Republicans thought they were going to breeze—again!—through the election year, there come challengers to the first-declared Senate candidate, and the prospects of the state's major party bloodying itself are suddenly very real. It's great news for newspapers whose political advertising revenues should soar, and the prospect of Republicans debating Republicans on such subjects as abortion rights, South Dakota's perennial campaign issue, as well as same-sex marriage and the state's millions of dollars in surplus funds makes me chuckle.

The e-mail arrives from the Chronicle's general manager. I know what he wants. It's time for my column again even though it seems I just wrote one last week.

So the next problem becomes the column topic.  I don't care to become a target—even at long distance—of the letter-to-the-editor writers who populate this page every week, so I must tread carefully when it comes to column topics.

I won't, but I could write about Packer quarterback Aaron Rodgers, who a year ago stood by his drugged buddy, Ryan Braun of the Brewers, saying he was so sure of Braun's innocence that he (Rodgers) would give up a year's salary if proved wrong. I haven't yet heard to where the Cheeseheads' Golden Boy is sending his millions.

I won't, but I could write about neighborhood watch groups who patrol in the dark of night looking for trouble. But I must remember, the next time I'm in Florida, to not walk around on a dark, stormy night wearing a hoodie unless I too am packing some heat.

I won't, but I could write about Big Brother government invading our lives.  But I hope that, when the next out-of-control fire comes over the ridge, the Forest Service will be there, the federal planes will fly over dropping flame retardants, the National Guard will be brought in to help save lives and property and, after it's all over, there will be federal aid to help with the recovery. And I hope that security cameras caught the license plate number of the car driven by the bums who started the fire and they were thus identified through the government's license plate ID system, even though such intrusion likely invaded their constitutional rights.

I won't, but I could write about the prospects of a juicy political season in South Dakota in 2014. Just when the Republicans thought they were going to breeze—again!—through the election year, there come challengers to the first-declared Senate candidate, and the prospects of the state's major party bloodying itself are suddenly very real. It's great news for newspapers whose political advertising revenues should soar, and the prospect of Republicans debating Republicans on such subjects as abortion rights, South Dakota's perennial campaign issue, as well as same-sex marriage and the state's millions of dollars in surplus funds makes me chuckle.

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