Presenting the 2009 Parkie Awards

If you have waited this long to do something which deserves receiving a Parkie Award, you're out of luck.  Here are this year's recipients (some are winners; some are losers):

* Family Values award:  To the Christmas blizzard of 2009.  Nothing did more to force families to bond and endure each other's company for two or three straight days like this storm.

* Too Painful to Watch award:  To the current crop of nighttime talk show hosts—Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien and David Letterman.  Does anybody think you guys are funny?

* Time to Grow Up award:  To Vikings running back Adrian Peterson for getting caught going more than 100 mph on the Crosstown freeway in Minneapolis, a road too dangerous for going even 50 mph.