We don’t care how you did it back home

I stopped by Ray’s Army Surplus store the other day. People call him “Harmful Government Ray” sometimes, though not to his face, or his left side. It’s pretty safe to call him that on his right side; he’s deaf in that ear from a little explosives mishap when he was younger.

Ray acquired his nickname from his theory that government-owned satellites are shooting microwaves into our heads to control our behaviors. This caused him to add a tinfoil liner to his greasy ball cap. Other than that little quirk and his habit of advising me to bury guns and canned goods in secret caches in the woods to prepare for the inevitable U.N. invasion, he’s a heck of a nice guy and makes a good cup of coffee. 

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